I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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