Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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