dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
