why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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