Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
