Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You pole danced in your parka.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
