Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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