Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
