Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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