But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
