Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
