I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
