Umm I'm too high to move.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
