if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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