I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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