just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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