Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
