I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
