and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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