So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
