Don't you send me to vm
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
