Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
BRING THE BAGELS
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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