no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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