yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
