She tied me up with her honor cords...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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