I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
