Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
