i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
