so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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