you guys were way drunker than both of me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
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