i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
