I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
