Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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