After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
