He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
