I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How's work?
Spinning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
