I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
