Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
