hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize