Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
