Moan for me like Helen Keller
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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