Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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