I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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