Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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