it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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