Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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