How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
