okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
