Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
