All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My dick has a subreddit
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
