I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
