I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
